Never really intended to be a comedian, just sort of fell into that, but always wanted to be in show business, or something to do with making comedy.

A message to parents who think legalizing weed will make their kids want to try it: they will anyway.

I'm sitting, waiting to get on the freeway, and I'm waiting my ass off. I look over at the side of the road, and there's a hitchhiker with a sign and it says, 'Pick me up, and you can drive in the carpool lane.' I got to tell you, he was kind of smelly, but he was a good conversationalist.

Big deal... the only cats that don't have three legs are the ones with two through zero legs.

[Deadpool] is definitely squirm-inducing. It's a pretty hard R, violence-wise. But cartoony, also. Maybe fast-forward through to torture scenes.

Any comedic entertainment is better when you get high.

I can't go off all crazy like that and reward someone a ton of money.