I wanted to be John Cleese. It took me some time to realise that the job was taken.

I wrote an ad for Apple Computer: "Macintosh - We might not get everything right, but at least we knew the century was going to end".

Having not said anything the first time, it was somehow even more difficult to broach the subject the second time around.

He inched his way up the corridor as if he would rather be yarding his way down it, which was true.

Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses have been specially designed to help people develop a relaxed attitude to danger. At the first hint of trouble, they turn totally black and thus prevent you from seeing anything that might alarm you.

Aberystwyth (n.) A nostalgic yearning which is in itself more pleasant than the thing being yearned for.

For a moment he felt good about this. A moment or two later he felt bad about feeling good about it. Then he felt good about feeling bad about feeling good about it and satisfied, drove on into the night.