Zaphod Beeblebrox, adventurer, ex-hippie, good-timer (crook? quite possibly), manic self-publicist, terrible bad at personal relationships, often thought to be completely out to lunch.

Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

In an infinite Universe anything can happen.

Anything that thinks logically can be fooled by something else that thinks at least as logically as it does.

The Presidents job, is not to wield power himself, but to lead attention away from it.

The light works," he said, indicating the window, "the gravity works," he said, dropping a pencil on the floor. "Anything else we have to take our chances with.