Purchased experiences don't count.

Knee-Jerk Irony: The tendency to make flippant ironic comments as a reflexive matter of course in everyday conversation.

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.

Clowns drink to blot out the ravages of terrifying children for a living.

I like the present. I'm always interested in new ideas, and what's happening. I'm not nostalgic.

All families are psychotic. Everybody has basically the same family - it's just reconfigured slightly different from one to the next.

Making eye contact with adults while dressed as a clown is risky.