I find it hard to believe that human beings are the crowning achievement of life on earth. Something better than us has to come along.

I cry because the future has once again found its sparkle and has grown a million times larger. And I cry because I am ashamed of how badly I have treated the people I love–of how badly I behaved during my own personal Dark Ages–back before I had a future and someone who cared for me from above. It is like today the sky opened up and only now am I allowed to enter

It's never felt more Canadian to be Canadian than it does now.

The Sugar Frosted Nutsack is fantastic. It's volcanic and sexy and utterly unlike anything I've read before. It feels like the future in a dazzling way that has nothing to do with looking backward. It's been a long wait for a new novel from Mark Leyner, but worth it. Ten out of ten from me.

Here's my theory about meetings and life: the three things you can't fake are erections, competence and creativity.

...and when you meet someone and fall in love, and they fall in love with you, you ask them "Will you take my heart-- stains and all?" and they say "I will," and they ask you the same question and you say, "I will," too.

I like having a beard. My beard changes my face shape and allows me to see in it family members who I love and can't see otherwise.