The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.
Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets.
Volvo — they're boxy but they're good.
Masturbation is always very safe. You not only control the person you're with, but you can leave when you want to.
Jaguar — For men who'd like hand-jobs from beautiful women they hardly know.
I haven't had that many women - only as many as I could lay my hands on.