In the course of an average lifetime anyone growing up in a house with such a clock will hear the tune over a million times.

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.

Maybe the memory does play tricks. Increasingly, I'm thinking, 'What was their name? I knew that name yesterday.' I think that's what happens. At some point, I'll forget that I ever worked with Peter Cook, I suppose, and Alan Bennett and Jonathan Miller.

I'm always looking for meaningful one-night stands.

Volvo — they're boxy but they're good.

Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets.

I am trapped in this body, and there is nothing I can do about it.