Jaguar — For men who'd like hand-jobs from beautiful women they hardly know.

Jaguar — For men who'd like hand-jobs from beautiful women they hardly know.

I am trapped in this body, and there is nothing I can do about it.

Masturbation is always very safe. You not only control the person you're with, but you can leave when you want to.

Maybe the memory does play tricks. Increasingly, I'm thinking, 'What was their name? I knew that name yesterday.' I think that's what happens. At some point, I'll forget that I ever worked with Peter Cook, I suppose, and Alan Bennett and Jonathan Miller.

I'm always looking for meaningful one-night stands.

I certainly did feel inferior. Because of class. Because of strength. Because of height. I guess if I'd been able to hit somebody in the nose, I wouldn't have been a comic.