There are a lot of girls that will try to hook up with you, then try to have your kid because they figure they're going to get all this money from you

If we could sell 100,000 units every album, that would rock. We'd have a big cult following, we'd have a built-in fanbase so we could pretty much play anywhere, people would show up and rock out

I don't think you can ever make enough to be set for life. Well, I guess there are limits. In the billions, I guess.

There's people that figure if they hang out with you, all of a sudden they're going to be successes. I've had two or three stalkers in my life

Stand-up in general is the most raw form of entertainment. There is no pyrotechnics or back-up dancers, it's just live and die by your jokes, that's it.

I'm not a big radio guy, I don't listen to whatever is the hip new thing.

Kids these days don't know as much about music as they think they do