I dislike both of [candidates] but there's obviously no choice in the election - if you're concerned about the future of anything, you need to vote for Hillary Clinton.

You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.

You cannot over estimate how infantile men are about sex! Men are people that have sex BECAUSE they have a headache... or are on fire, or have been shot in the head, or whatever it is!

Its not easy being a man you know. I had to get dressed today… and there are other pressures.

Shame is one of the greatest aphrodisiacs in the world, anyway, built into religion.

Fruit... it's just God showing off. "Look at all the colours I know!"

Look at his face. I bet his cornflakes try to crawl out of the bowl.