Fruit... it's just God showing off. "Look at all the colours I know!"

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them.

Women are like canoes, full of soup. At first everyone is suspicious but then everyone wants one.

Don't you DARE use party as a verb in my shop

Showing off seemed to me to be a highly valuable and necessary activity when I was 20.

I don't see teenagers anymore. I see... I see youths. Slumped S shapes in their hoodies, all huddled round a bin of burning grannies. All texting eachother because they've given up on speech.

I've seen stand up comedy, and after a while you start to notice that a lot of people are doing things that are like a lot of other people. There can be a bit of a herd mentality, and that's obviously less interesting because there's less going on. I'm just being totally frank with you.