I thought The Office was good, though I didn't think of it as a sitcom, just as a very good programme.

If you're a comic, you don't have a rehearsal room, you rehearse on stage. My main concern is remembering everything.

[Washington] is the political capital. It's essentially a big office.

I have to say, as much I am respectful of people's faith and the idea of it being necessary for them, but when it comes to the Catholic church as an organization I don't have one scintilla of compassion, understanding, anything. I just think they're the most heinous, corrupt, separatingly vile organization that's ever been on the planet.

Organic? I grew up on Angel Delight. We didn't have anything in the house if it wasn't neon!

What are children anyway? Midget drunks. They greet you in the morning by kneeing you in the face and talking gibberish. They can't even walk straight.

I enjoy performing, always, but when you're taping a gig, you've got to blank out this mass apparatus of self-consciousness that's surrounding you, this invitation to drown in self-consciousness. Otherwise you just won't be able to do anything.