Organic? I grew up on Angel Delight. We didn't have anything in the house if it wasn't neon!

When did you ever hear of a child not in need? 'Oh that's enough jam tart for me, I'll just go now and clean the toilets.'

Women are like canoes, full of soup. At first everyone is suspicious but then everyone wants one.

You look like a horse in a man costume

The American political machinery is awesome to behold in its scale and expense and waste and madness. It's the greatest circus on Earth I suppose.

I've been writing since I was very young, even before I was a teenager. As far as I'm concerned, I am a writer - whether my writing's spoken or written in a blog, paper, book or printed on the side of a submarine.

I've got better things to do than read rubbish about myself.