The East is very mysterious to Westerners. Even post-Cold War, it's still an unknown entity.

You're never going to go. Why would you go? It's a disgusting place. It's always wet even when it's dry. There's nothing there. Farmers aren't really people, you know this. They're just necessary, we need somebody to kill cows.

I suppose the best comedy shows do have the rock n' roll feeling - if it's a great night, and the roof is raised yeah, it's a similar feeling, sure.

I've got better things to do than read rubbish about myself.

It's true that I have spoken about doing a book before, but then everyone you speak to is planning to write a book.

I'm Irish, yeah, but I don't need to get up on a soapbox about it.

You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...