Its not easy being a man you know. I had to get dressed today… and there are other pressures.

It's such a bullshit move. Transparently so. It's obviously supposed to give succor to people who feel pissed off because someone from another country got a job that they feel should've been given to them. But that's what people voted against here. They voted against the movement of labor - that kind of fluidity - because they want a Britain that no longer exists, and they can't get it.

I'm a vegetarian, well I'm not hardcore because I eat meat, but only because I like the taste, and I hate vegetables on a personal level so I'm not too good!

Women are like canoes, full of soup. At first everyone is suspicious but then everyone wants one.

Go and lie down in the dark... for hours... and don't move. I'm locking the door now

I've been writing since I was very young, even before I was a teenager. As far as I'm concerned, I am a writer - whether my writing's spoken or written in a blog, paper, book or printed on the side of a submarine.

The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty.