When you say 'Bedtime, bedtime, bedtime!' that's not what the child hears. What the child hears is 'Lie down in the dark... for hours... and don't move... I'm locking the door now.'

Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.

‎What's the weather like? ... It's fierce mild!

Organic? I grew up on Angel Delight. We didn't have anything in the house if it wasn't neon!

One thing that's coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear from this Black Books thing.

When things are going well, I can't write fast enough to keep up with my mind. Writing walks, speech runs and talk flies. Other times, though, it's like fishing.

I was fat! I was pustule-rich! I looked like a pink human grenade! When did I blossom into the irresistible little orchid that I am now? I don't know. Getting taller helps. It spreads out a bit.