Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.

Idioms are a big thing in Ireland. They want to fill the time, to show how good they are at talk - it's a talk-off

Everybody is corrupted by hotel rooms. You can't help it. It's the only place in the world where you walk in and the first think you do is steal everything before you take your coat off.

You have to assume that you're talking to the most intelligent, tuned-in audience you could ever get. That's the way you're going to get the best out of people. Whether they know you or not shouldn't matter for comedy. They should get to know you pretty quickly. and they should be having a good time pretty quickly.

I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me.

Now I'm not an expert at mathematics, but I calculated it would take at least three of me to take on one third of one of them, even if they were attacking me with just their arse.

I'm just trying to understand what's around me as much as anyone else is, really. To draw a bead on a moving target.