Shame is one of the greatest aphrodisiacs in the world, anyway, built into religion.

Women are like canoes, full of soup. At first everyone is suspicious but then everyone wants one.

I've seen stand up comedy, and after a while you start to notice that a lot of people are doing things that are like a lot of other people. There can be a bit of a herd mentality, and that's obviously less interesting because there's less going on. I'm just being totally frank with you.

I think of myself as a theatre comic instead of club comic because I tend to talk for a bit before I start being funny. I don't really do the one-liners and five second bits or whatever. But it's good to work stuff out sometimes.

Don't you DARE use party as a verb in my shop

I'm actually about as famous as a fourth division footballer from the 70s.

I fear we might be losing the basic human facility to be alone - and with that you throw out independent decision-making, what to trust, what not to trust; key stuff - a perilous loss.