Children are the most honest critics. They will say "You're funny", but also "You're pathetic - go away."

I thought The Office was good, though I didn't think of it as a sitcom, just as a very good programme.

I'm just a guy who happens to work in public from time to time. I've built a reputation as an established comic, not as a celebrity - a celebrity is someone who is famous but doesn't do anything.

You see the button with the guy with the tray, and you push it, and he arrives with a sandwich! And you think: "Yes! Yes! I control sandwich monkey! I live in magic land, magic land, magic land"

As an Irish person, there's a historical fascination with America: America is the default green and promised land for Irish people and Italians; that's what we grow up with.

If I hadn't done this I might have ended up digging the roads.

Men look at breasts the way women look at babies. 'Aw, isn't that lovely?'