Now I'm not an expert at mathematics, but I calculated it would take at least three of me to take on one third of one of them, even if they were attacking me with just their arse.

Religion is the yeast of death cakes. It is the most awful agent on a vulnerable mind. It's the refuge of alienated and lonely people. It's what people had before television. It yokes people together into an imaginary world. It is just people talking to their imaginary friends, at length. I wouldn't mind, but some of the people are world leaders.

Tequila? It's not even a drink. It's a way for having the cops around without using a phone.

Organic? I grew up on Angel Delight. We didn't have anything in the house if it wasn't neon!

I suppose the best comedy shows do have the rock n' roll feeling - if it's a great night, and the roof is raised yeah, it's a similar feeling, sure.

Don't clap I'm not a jazz band for Christ's sake.

The terror of failure can make you feel like a failure. So a bunch of people think you're not very good at your thing. How much do you invest in what they say? How much do you care? Failure is not putting yourself on the line.