I don't have lungs anymore! Just two spare bags that flew in under a bridge one day.

In my personal life, my family makes me laugh more than anybody; I think that is the same for everybody. I certainly hope it is.

He could dismiss several schools of philosophy by shifting slightly in his chair or toting his whisky glass.

Organic? I grew up on Angel Delight. We didn't have anything in the house if it wasn't neon!

What are children anyway? Midget drunks. They greet you in the morning by kneeing you in the face and talking gibberish. They can't even walk straight.

When things are going well, I can't write fast enough to keep up with my mind. Writing walks, speech runs and talk flies. Other times, though, it's like fishing.

Beer must be made by food companies. It makes you wander the streets at 3 am looking for things to eat. "What's that, is it moving, get it!! It's a nun! Fry her!! Fry her!"