I don't have lungs anymore! Just two spare bags that flew in under a bridge one day.

I thought The Office was good, though I didn't think of it as a sitcom, just as a very good programme.

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it.

I feel very very old. My hair hurts. I have buttocks all over my body and I can't even smoke properly any more. I don't have lungs, I just have two poppadoms in here.

I've seen stand up comedy, and after a while you start to notice that a lot of people are doing things that are like a lot of other people. There can be a bit of a herd mentality, and that's obviously less interesting because there's less going on. I'm just being totally frank with you.

I just wish I had longer. It's very frustrating. As you know, to people over here, cities like [Washington] D.C. are iconic. We know them so well. It's very frustrating to be in one of them for 36 hours and have a show to do because you can't really do anything.

Wow this place is really big isn't it? They must do proper stuff here, like opera and all that...shite.