You've a very important, early decision to make in your life: are you going to be alone, or are you going to be with somebody else? Are you going to be sane, or not lonely? A couple is a strange thing; it's an organism that's half as intelligent as the most intelligent member. And you both know who it is!

You’re not going to learn anything if you’re not prepared to go flat, so I’m very happy to go flat.

Men don't know anything! Men don't know when their lives became so entirely awful, when everyone else turned into such a tosser! A man does not know how he came by the half a pie he is holding in his hand. And scientists - those frauds - seize on this, and try to use it as proof of the mysteries of human consciousness and the unknowable nature of the brain, which is rubbish!

We are both drawn to surreal situations so the writing was a joy.

In the same way, there is some creature gnawing away inside of me, urging me to do things in different ways.

I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly and turn up at the same place every day and eat sandwiches in the same canteen, if I can possibly help it, as I don't think I'd be very good at it.

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake?