You've a very important, early decision to make in your life: are you going to be alone, or are you going to be with somebody else? Are you going to be sane, or not lonely? A couple is a strange thing; it's an organism that's half as intelligent as the most intelligent member. And you both know who it is!

You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.

You’re not going to learn anything if you’re not prepared to go flat, so I’m very happy to go flat.

Now I'm not an expert at mathematics, but I calculated it would take at least three of me to take on one third of one of them, even if they were attacking me with just their arse.

[Washington] is the political capital. It's essentially a big office.

You learn very very quickly that it is mostly about swearing, actually. That's all you're doing, swearing, in a box with wheels.

Fruit... it's just God showing off. "Look at all the colours I know!"