You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them.

Idioms are a big thing in Ireland. They want to fill the time, to show how good they are at talk - it's a talk-off

You learn very very quickly that it is mostly about swearing, actually. That's all you're doing, swearing, in a box with wheels.

You look like a horse in a man costume

You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...

Children are the most honest critics. They will say "You're funny", but also "You're pathetic - go away."

I don't have lungs anymore! Just two spare bags that flew in under a bridge one day.