You can't please everyone, nor should you seek to, because then you won't please anyone, least of all yourself.

When did you ever hear of a child not in need? 'Oh that's enough jam tart for me, I'll just go now and clean the toilets.'

Eggs! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance!

[Washington] is the political capital. It's essentially a big office.

Go and lie down in the dark... for hours... and don't move. I'm locking the door now

Cooking? Oh we were great, you'd take anything and melt cheese on it, and the one who could guess what it was didn't have to wash up!

I don't go to different countries to criticise their political system and tell them what they should be doing - what do I know?