I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over.

We will now sing forth, hymn 405, 'Oh God, what on earth is my hairdo all about?

Because that's what narcissism is all about; looking in the mirror everyday and thinking 'Damn, I'd like to shag myself.'

Poetry is very similar to music, only less notes and more words.

So then there was the Greek, Socrates, he was great... He invented questioning. Before Socrates, no questioning. Everyone sort of went, ''Yeah, I suppose so.

They say that 'Guns don't kill people, people kill people.' Well I think the gun helps. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

I've done a bit of Latin in my time...but I can control it.