I am someone who's very positive about business, as a social Democrat. I do like the safety net of the welfare system and people setting things and creating business, and that's what I try to do with my own work: export it around the world from the U.K.

Horseshoes are lucky. Horses have four bits of lucky nailed to their feet. They should be the luckiest animals in the world. They should rule the country. They should win all their horse races, at least. 'In the fifth race today, every single horse was first equal...one horse threw a shoe came in third...the duck was ninth...and five ran.'

I felt audiences are happier to take comedy people who play darker people because there's a link between the psychosis of comedy and the psychosis of being a twisted character.

If there were a god, don't you think he would have flicked Hitler's head off?

When I watched Braveheart I was in tears and I was rooting for the Scottish people

My stand-up is quite good now, people say. It's just like a big conversation each time. Every gig is a rehearsal.

What was the first cat that talked a human into putting a cat door in?