Cos people think I'm on drugs and I'm not. I'm really quite... Just a bit of coffee. When I take drugs I start going, Oh, would you like insurance?

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

I definitely have breast envy. When teenage girls were saying 'I wish I had breasts', I was thinking the same thing.

I'm working on a speed boat at the moment. Much more exciting. It'll really kick ass, give great photographs for the people in Bible.

I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over.

That's no good, I can't steal from the fairly well off and give to the moderately impoverished! That's not gonna swing, is it?

Honey bees are amazing creatures. I mean, think about it, do earwigs make chutney?