Every bad decision I've made has been based on money.

You know you can't just run and shoot people in the knee-caps with double barreled shotgun 'cause you're pissed at them.

I don't think more concentration is required for Robert De Niro to do what he does as for Jim Carrey to do what he does.

I spent my 30s fixing everything I broke in my 20s.

That's my idol, Elvis Presley. If you went to my house, you'd see pictures all over of Elvis. He's just the greatest entertainer that ever lived.

When I'm doing stand-up, it's just me depending on me. I know how to go out there and make people laugh. I've been doing it since I was a teenager. I trust my instincts. I just go out and talk. A lot of the time I let the material come from the top of my head.

Are you driving with your eyes open? Or are you, like, using "the force"?