You know you can't just run and shoot people in the knee-caps with double barreled shotgun 'cause you're pissed at them.

I haven't read a newspaper in 20 years. I don't look at the computer or anything. You have to have a filter on what you let in.

When I go back to the stage, I want to be able to do everything. I want to be able to do music and comedy and all that stuff and have a show like nobody ever had before.

Is it just me, or does every woman in New York have a severe emotional problem?

Making movies is time-consuming and it's boring. You spend most of your time waiting between takes. It's like a big machine that moves slowly.

I keep telling people I'll make movies until I'm fifty and then I'll go and do something else. I'm going to be a professional gentleman of leisure.

I took my portrait that Kaufman did of me home from the Saturday Night Live TV set.