Over the past 50 years Bob Hope employed 88 joke writers who supplied him with more than one million gags, and he still couldn't make me laugh.

It is as big a mistake to turn down a good shot as it is to take a bad one

I'm 42 and the age of a guy who has kids, so I guess I'm playing right where I'm supposed to be. I'm comfortable with that, but in the same breath I'd do something edgy. If someone came to me and offered me an edgy and funny story, then I'd do it.

I've always had confidence. It came because I have lots of initiative. I wanted to make something of myself.

This is a regional fair that attracts people from the surrounding counties and from further distances. The fair draws people from as far away as Albert Lea, Owatonna and the Twin Cities.

All men are sculptors, constantly chipping away the unwanted parts of their lives, trying to create their idea of their masterpiece.

Are you driving with your eyes open? Or are you, like, using "the force"?