I always say, 'If you can't give a reason for the banana peel being in the alley, then don't have the comic slide over it.' Do you understand what I mean? First explain how the banana peel got there quickly. And then there's a reason for all the comedy.

I find it easier to abstain than do a little bit of anything. I'm not a 'little bit' kind of dame. I want it all, whatever I do.

I'm going to do less performing because I'm tired. It's hard to convince anybody that you're just going to take it easy.

If somebody doesn't have any talent, get off the stage! You're wasting my time.

I don't think there's any thrill in the world like doing work you're good at.

I’d like to discover life. Quite frankly I don’t know how to be happy. I have not a clue. I only serve — and I don’t say that with any grandeur. I just serve others through entertaining. That’s when I am happy. I’m not just delighted with myself when I’m entertaining, but I’m happier than when I’m not.

I don't know what to do with Warren Beatty. All I know is that he wasn't attracted to me. That's all right.