Everybody's got a sack of rocks.

I think it's the wrong way around to say when you get older move to the country. I think when you get older you move to New York. If you're a nice broad they'll look after you.

You cannot tell an audience a lie. They know it before you do; before it's out of your mouth, they know it's a lie.

You can't be funny unless you're tragic, and you can't be tragic unless you're funny.

Diabetes is a lousy, lousy disease.

Betty White is probably a very nice woman.

I wouldn't have a nose job. I like my nose fine.