The church saves sinners, but science seeks to stop their manufacture.

God is good, there is no devil but fear.

God looked upon His work and saw that it was good. That is where the clergy take issue with him.

A college degree does not lessen the length of your ears; it only conceals it.

If you work for a man, in heaven's name work for him, speak well of him, and stand by the institution he represents. Remember, an ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness. If you must growl, condemn, and eternally find fault - resign your position, and when you are outside, damn to your heart's content - but as long as you are part of the institution, do not condemn it. If you do, the first high wind that comes along will blow you away, and probably you will never know why.

Laughter is higher than all pain.

If men could only know each other, they would neither idolize nor hate.