There are a million rules for being a girl. There are a million things you have to do to get through each day. High school has things that can trip you up, ruin you, people say one thing and mean another, and you have to know all the rules, you have to know what you can and can't do.
Elizabeth ScottAnd youโฆ do you know what you are?โ โStupid?โ โBeautiful,โ he says, his face turning red.
Elizabeth ScottIโm broken, I have cut myself wide open. I can see my heart and it is not what I believed it was, it is not good and kind and all the things I have always thought I am.
Elizabeth ScottSo, you're telling me that no matter what, you can't be happy? Well, darling, it's no wonder you're miserable. It's what you want...So then try (to be happy).
Elizabeth ScottCute" is one of those words people use when they know you're smart enough to realize "you've got so much personality" means "you're ugly.
Elizabeth ScottHow come you like Josh so much anyway? All he does is sit around drinking overpriced coffee and bitching about how awful things are" "He cares about the world." "If he cared about the world, he'd donate the ten thousand dollars he must spend on coffee every year to charity. That would be doing something.
Elizabeth ScottMy father looked like he was having a strokeโ not that Mel seemed to notice because he just kept talking. โPatrick needs a ride. No car, you know, and so I figured, hey, I can pick up some gas money.โ He laughed. No one else did, and now Patrick looked like he was trying to push himself inside the door and hide.
Elizabeth ScottI love the me I am with him. Iโm the girl who has Dave. Iโm Lauren, Daveโs girlfriend. Iโm someone better than Lauren Smith, who no one noticed till Dave came along. The thing is, that girl isnโt me and I know it. But when Iโm with him, I feel like I could be her. That if something in me was justโI donโt know, shifted a little or something, smoothed downโpeople would think of me the way they think of Dave, and everything would always be perfect. I would be perfect.
Elizabeth ScottI told you we were meant to be," he says, still smiling, still so Finn, who was always here but who I just didn't see and now-- Well, now I kiss him.
Elizabeth Scottlove is...you get confused and you do stuff you don't mean to do-and you just-you hate yourself and sometimes you don't even want to love the person you do because it would be so much easier if you didn't.But you just-you just do.
Elizabeth ScottSchool is just like having a job. You have to show up, you have to do your work, and you have to be around tons of idiots or mean people. Now that I think about it, it's worse than having a job. At least there you get paid.
Elizabeth ScottVitamins ruined my life. Not that there was much left to ruin, but still. I know that blaming vitamins for my horrible life sounds strange. After all, vitamins are supposed to keep people healthy. Also, they're inanimate objects. But thanks to them I was stuck in the Jackson Center Mall watching my father run around in a bee costume.
Elizabeth ScottI want to care, but I don't. I look at you and all I feel is tired. I walk through school and all I want to do is leave. I wake up in the morning and don't know why I'm here. I feel like I'm not real.
Elizabeth ScottOnce upon a time, I did not live in Shady Pines. Once upon a time, my name was not Alice. Once upon a time, I didn't know how lucky I was.
Elizabeth ScottI have been smashed and put back together so many times nothing works right. Nothing is where it should be, heavy thumping in my shoulder where my heart now beats.
Elizabeth ScottThe sun will rise tomorrow. It always does, and all the wishing in the world for the way things were, or for what they could have been, won't change that. It won't change how things are.
Elizabeth ScottI thought living dead girls couldn't feel pain, thought I was emptied out but I'm not, I'm not.
Elizabeth ScottBecause I-I'm someone who wants to kiss you. Be with you." Eli says as if it is obvious, as if I know what is written on his heart.
Elizabeth ScottWhat had been became what was and a story only works when you know the ending. When the people in it donโt seem like pretend. When you can think about that girl and how she was once upon a time, and see her. When you donโt already know the story is a lie.
Elizabeth ScottYou ready?" Evan asks, and he's looking at me, and I love his hair, I love his smile, I lo--"I Love You," I say, and as I watch his smile bloom I finally get how great those three little words are. I finally get what they really mean.
Elizabeth ScottI didn't want it to be one good memory that led to a lot of bad ones. I wanted it to stay what it was, one amazing moment, something that was strong and sweet enough to stand on its own. Something I could remember without any pain. - Kate
Elizabeth Scottthe thing is you can get used to anything you think you cant you want to die but you dont you cant you just are
Elizabeth Scott..."Are you okay?" he says, still looking at me, and I feel my smile slip, fade, and the silence that falls over us then is so total I canโt hear anything, not the rush-hiss of my heart pounding in my chest, not the sounds all around us; insects, wind, and the distant clatter of othersโ lives in houses built close but not too close because when we look out our windows we all like to pretend that everything we see is ours. But Ryan is not mine.
Elizabeth ScottTalking about someone who makes you happy actually makes you happy. Being happy makes you want to talk, to go over everything, to share it so you can remember it all over again.
Elizabeth ScottDo you really think he was flirting with me?" "Let's see. He gave you candy you hate - I saw your face - and a CD of songs..." He looks at the CD. "All of these are, like, twenty years old at least. Figures. Oh, and he groped your face. Sounds like true love to me.
Elizabeth ScottShe looked at me for real and saw I was serious. She saw I knew she was for me like you know that tomorrow morning the sun will rise.
Elizabeth ScottI see what grief does, how it strips you bare, shows you all the things you don't want to know. That loss doesn't end, that there isn't a moment where you are done, when you can neatly put it away and move on.
Elizabeth ScottKate, don't be like that. You know I only did so well because I yearn-see, SAT word- to follow you to college and steal your heart." "Uh-huh. Too bad for you I don't plan on attending clown college." He grinned. "Only you would ignore the incredibly sweet thing I just said." "Only you would describe one of your asinine comments as incredibly sweet.
Elizabeth ScottHe is nothing to look at, and yet I canโt stop looking at him. There is something beautiful in how his face is made, how all the tiny flaws blend together into something more perfect than perfection could ever be.
Elizabeth ScottBut the past couple of days Iโve missed you so much itโs felt like missing you is all I am.
Elizabeth ScottIโm always the one who doesnโt have a date, the one guys walk up to and say, โSo, is your friend, you know, with someone?โ and I may not be the only girl without someone, but it feels like it sometimes. A lot of the time.
Elizabeth ScottI do not fall. I fell so hard so long ago there is nothing left for me to land on. I just keep falling and falling and falling.
Elizabeth ScottI've been taught that love is beautiful and kind, but it isn't like that at all. It is beautiful, but it's a terrible beauty, a ruthless one, and you fall-you fall, and the thing is- The thing is you want to. You don't care what's coming you just want who your heart beats for.
Elizabeth ScottThree life lessons: 1.No one will see you. 2.No one will say anything. 3.No one will save you.
Elizabeth ScottI love books. I like that the moment you open one and sink into it you can escape from the world, into a story that's way more interesting that yours will ever be.
Elizabeth ScottI knew I was having a panic attack. I hadn't had one in a while, though, and I'd forgotton how they made everything like it- and I- was going to fall apart. How they reminded me of how trapped I was.
Elizabeth ScottThen I heard someone laugh. I wished I didn't know whose laugh it was, but I knew Will's laugh just like I knew he had a small scar right above his left elbow. You couldn't be reluctantly lust-ridden for someone without noticing stuff about them.
Elizabeth ScottThe heart is a place with worm holes made by feelings you aren't supposed to have but do.
Elizabeth Scott