Something big happened over the weekend. Something that affects everybody, all over the world. George Clooney got married.

What's New Orleans without music? And what's music without dancing?

Leaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn't enough. You also have to move the chair.

The song 'If I Had a Hammer' is geared toward people who don't have a hammer. Maybe before I had a hammer I thought I'd hammer in the morning and hammer in the evening. But once you get a hammer, you find you don't really hammer as much as you thought you would.

I'm a comedian, and I definitely see the humor in a lot of things. I am also sad a lot. I cry often and easily. I think you're supposed to feel all kinds of things.

You know, radio DJ's must really love to talk to theirselves. Especially when they have the graveyard shift. 'Hey this is Ellen with 89.1. It is currently three in the morning. There are few cars on the road. And it your still listening heres a little music to get you to dance.

The only way a no-legged leopard could hurt you is if it fell out of a tree onto your head.