I think people talk too much anyway. Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I'm just like “shut up, shut up, shut upblah blah blah blah blaaaaah.

I've learned 2 things about tv. It's always easier with vodka & SOME OF THE BEST SINGERS ARE FROM THE PHILIPPINES

A circus! 100 clowns of injustice have climbed out of the tiny clown car of this court room.

The only way a no-legged leopard could hurt you is if it fell out of a tree onto your head.

Haiku sounds like I'm Saying hi to someone named Ku. Hi, Ku. Hello.

Asking who's the 'man' and who's the 'woman' in a same-sex relationship is like asking which chopstick is the fork.

Have you seen the deer heads on the walls of bars, the ones wearing party hats, sunglasses and streamers? I feel sorry for them because obviously they were at a party having a good time.