...To be honest, I'd be the last person who should be doling out gardeinng advice. I don't have the patience for growing things. Yes, I realize there's nothing quite as satisfying as eating food that you've pulled up from the ground and that's why, at the height of the planting season, I bury cans of tomato soup in my backyard and dig them up in late spring.
Ellen DeGeneresI think there's a whole bunch of things that go along with being a girl. You're not supposed to have opinions or be tough or strong. You're supposed to be soft and vulnerable, and I find those qualities important in both men and women.
Ellen DeGeneresI'm glad I'm funny. I'm glad I make people happy, because that's very important. But I'm proud to be known as a kind person.
Ellen DeGeneresI have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me - they're just, like, 'I can't believe you don't remember me!" I'm like, 'Oh Dad I'm sorry!
Ellen DeGeneresIf there weren't blacks, Jews and gays, there would no Oscars. Or anyone named Oscar, if you think about that.
Ellen DeGeneresI cannot believe they haven't yet come up with a better screening process than the mammogram. If a man had to put his special parts inside a clamp to test him for anything, I think they would come up with a new plan before the doctor finished saying, "Put that thing there so I can crush it.
Ellen DeGeneres