The world is filled with negativity. I want people to watch me and think, โI feel good, and Iโm going to make somebody else feel good today.
Ellen DeGeneresI like being busy and juggling a lot of things at the same time. I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot.
Ellen DeGeneresI see those picketers, and I think you know, if I weren't a loving, non-violent, spiritual person, I would really go over there and grab those signs and smash them over their heads and shove them up their asses. But...I'm a loving, spiritual person.
Ellen DeGeneresYou should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled.
Ellen DeGeneresI appreciate your giving my book -- and in no small way, me -- a chance. To thank you, I really wanted to acknowledge all of you in the book. Unfortunately, I didn't have enough room for each name. So I've put in a code name that stands for all of you reading this book. The name is 'Mom.' It will be our little secret. So when you see 'Mom' in the acknowledgments, you'll know I'm really talking about you. And don't let my mother try to tell you otherwise.
Ellen DeGeneres