I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon.

I see those picketers, and I think you know, if I weren't a loving, non-violent, spiritual person, I would really go over there and grab those signs and smash them over their heads and shove them up their asses. But...I'm a loving, spiritual person.

I'm a - I'm a, um, a godmother which is just, that's fun to be a godmother, she is so precious, she's the light of my life, she's two... or five or something, and she's, uh... I don't know, I've never seen her - the pictures are precious, she just seems so, y'know... She lives clear across town, I don't have that kind of time, but, um... Well, I send money and stuff, it's not like I don't have a connection...

Emote. It's okay. It shows you are thinking and feeling.

I'm sure there's somebody out there who doesn't like Betty White because she's short and has white hair.

Dan: 'Ah, well, I hope this didn't have anything to do with me.' Ellen: 'No, not unless you played Cat Woman in Batman.

We use only 10% of our brains... Imagine how smart we would be if we used the other 60%!