Above all things physical, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside - to have a big hear and an open mind and a spectacular spleen.

If someone ever says you’re weird, say thank you.

I'm not going to say who looks the most beautiful, but it's clear. It's Jared Leto. I mean, he's the prettiest. Boy is he pretty

And we certainly don't have full conversations on cellphones. You know? Usually the reception is so bad, but it's only bad on your side. The person talking to you has no clue. They're just rambling on and on. You've got your finger jammed in your ear, you're shushing people on the streets. You're ducked behind a dumpster so you can hear about your friend's new hair cut. What about the bangs are they shorter?! Are the bangs shorter?! The bangs!

We're told to go on living our lives as usual, because to do otherwise is to let the terrorists win, and really, what would upset the Taliban more than a gay woman wearing a suit in front of a room full of Jews?

There's lotion for your face, for your hands, for your feet, for your body. Why? What would happen if you put hand lotion on your feet? Would your feet get confused and start clapping? Each kind has something special in it - aloe, shea butter, coconut, cocoa butter, vanilla, lemon extract. That's not lotion. That's one ingredient short of a Bundt cake.

The stand up, everything was accidental. I never grew up and was the class clown and had to get the attention. It was - it really is, I have a career despite myself.