You talk to some people who are opposed to same sex marriage, and they'll say, 'If we allow that, what's next? Will people want to marry animals?'...You have to wonder about people who go straight to that idea --- and they think WE'RE weird!

Being a teenager and figuring out who you are is hard enough without someone attacking you.

Sometimes the greatest things are the most embarrassing.

The only way a no-legged leopard could hurt you is if it fell out of a tree onto your head.

I had done a sitcom and a movie and hosted the Emmys, and all of a sudden, I lost everything. As someone put it at the time, I was suddenly like a Ferrari in neutral.

Dan: 'Ah, well, I hope this didn't have anything to do with me.' Ellen: 'No, not unless you played Cat Woman in Batman.

Quick decision makers are often stuck behind annoying people in line at Starbucks.