When my daughter left for college, I lost my in-house consultant to youth culture. There's just stuff I don't get. And there's something kind of pathetic about someone my age trying to pretend she gets it, so I don't try to pretend.

You may think you're married to a woman, but she's really an overgrown child.

The biggest problem is that people want to tell the whole story, and they write letters that are way longer than anything I could possibly run.

Sometimes people have a wild past because they have an essentially wild nature, and that's how they plan to go through life. Sometimes such people settle into happy monogamy, and can be content there because they never have to wonder, "What did I miss?"

You can't get a guarantee from everyone who appears in personal photographs that they will forever remain warm presences in one's life or sweet memories.

Setting up a college fund would be a great way to redirect the tangible evidence of Daddy's love.

Each week I am forced to revise my original opinion that Facebook is a great innovation for keeping people in touch, to believing that it is merely a canvas for members to act out strange, unresolved conflicts and desires.