I do feel haunted by some of the letters and the suffering people have endured. But I keep in mind that the people who write to me know that I am a journalist and an on-line advice columnist, not a social service professional.

I'm not a big advocate of living together before marriage. It can be the right thing, but it can also leave two people stuck together who haven't figured out what they really want out of the relationship.

If you think a caregiver has an active substance abuse problem, that person should never be entrusted with your child.

I'm not suffering from some division of personality.

I counseled a 75-year-old married, bi-sexual man who was having a gay affair and was not having sex with his wife to continue his secret life because that seemed like the kindest thing to do. But a young woman embarking on married life, hoping to start a family with her husband, needs to at least know he's already living a double life.

Most women at some point or many points in their lives will have to deal with an unwanted advance and having the confidence to be "rude" and say no is an important skill to develop.

I can't imagine anything that would signal more clearly that life goes on and joy can follow tragedy than your having a much wanted child.