I do feel haunted by some of the letters and the suffering people have endured. But I keep in mind that the people who write to me know that I am a journalist and an on-line advice columnist, not a social service professional.

If you think a caregiver has an active substance abuse problem, that person should never be entrusted with your child.

My inbox [showed me] how much pain there is in the world. I appreciated hearing from people, but it was hard to know I couldn't do anything.

I can't imagine anything that would signal more clearly that life goes on and joy can follow tragedy than your having a much wanted child.

I am against lying, but just because someone asks a question does not mean you have to answer it.

I try to direct people in distress to the right resources, where they can get comprehensive help. I've heard from many people that simply putting down in a letter what is going on in their lives is therapeutic in and of itself.

When you have a life milestone happen, it's good to step back and reassess the things you thought you knew about yourself.