Artemis: (shocked) Why, Doctor? This is a sensitive area. For all you know I could be suffering from depression. Doctor Po: I suppose you could. Is that the case? Artemis: (head in hands) It's my mother, Doctor. Doctor Po: Yes? Artemis: My mother, she... Doctor Po: Your mother, yes? Artemis: She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy when the school's so-called counsellors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees.

Oh, I'm crazy all right. I do have plenty of psychoses. Multiple personality, delusional dementia, OCD. I've got them all, but most of all, I'm crazy about you.

"I live for agressive action!" thundered Orion squeakily, which was unusual. "Oh, how I pray that dragon will turn round that I may smite it." "Smite it with what?" wondered Foaly. "Your secret birthmark?" "Don't you mock my birthmark, which I may or may not have.

Very well. I understand. Just ... shut up!

Really, I'm trying to care, Artemis, really. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over

When the moment comes, will you take your chance to be a hero?

Trust me. I'm a genius.