Artemis felt like he was six again and caught hacking the school computers trying to make the test questions harder

Don’t feel bad; I regularly reduce people to unintelligible stammers.

I did what all good Iriah dads do when faced with a worthy adversary..I said Ask your mother!!

What's that supposed to mean? A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wolf?

The thing about reading is that if you are hooked, you're not going to stop just because one series is over; you're going to go and find something else.

Hey, look your girlfriend is saying something. Artemis had a vast mental reserve of scathing comebacks at his disposal, but none of them covered girlfriend insults. He wasn't even sure if it was an insult. And if it was, who was being insulted? Him or the girl?

Orion brightened. "I have an idea." "Yes?" said Foaly, daring to hope that a spark of Artemis remained. "Why don't we look for some magic stones that can grant wishes? Or, if that doesn't work, you could search my naked body for some mysterious birthmark that means I am actually the prince of somewhere or other.