The Theory of Evolution has more holes in it than a dam made out of Swiss cheese.

She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy, when the so-called counselors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees. -Artemis Fowl

What's that supposed to mean? A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wolf?

There is always a use for everything, Victor had told him. Even pain.

It was calling me, that button," he offered as his excuse. "I couldn't resist." -MULCH DIGGUMS ON A HIGHLY PRESS-ABLE BUTTON-

She can't afford to commit more troops,' Holly whispered. 'The gate is her priority, and she needs to have as many Berserkers watching her back as possible. We are secondary at this point.' 'That will be her undoing,' Artemis gasped, already suffering under the weight of the flak jacket. 'Artemis Fowl will never be secondary.' 'I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?' said Holly.

We lost the crickets.