You can make fun of your own a lot easier than someone else's.

Comedy is often about pain.

I can't tell if the world is worse now or if we just have more cameras. There are cameras everywhere, so now the world knows how bad the world is.

They [ The Simpsons] are just like the Bible to me as far as what the high-water mark of comedy.

I'm a lurker and a creep. Women don't like me because I sleep standing up, like a horse.

I feel the acting conservatory taught me how to be a working actor in the 1700s. We learned stuff like 'to the back of the auditorium, to the back of the auditorium' and the liquid "u." 'The payment is duuue on Tuuuesday.' I also learned how to fence. If anything, when I moved to Los Angeles, I didn't fit in, in any way. I had to do comedy, because I was talking so pretentiously.

How many n-bombs are dropped? It depends on what I post.