I feel the acting conservatory taught me how to be a working actor in the 1700s. We learned stuff like 'to the back of the auditorium, to the back of the auditorium' and the liquid "u." 'The payment is duuue on Tuuuesday.' I also learned how to fence. If anything, when I moved to Los Angeles, I didn't fit in, in any way. I had to do comedy, because I was talking so pretentiously.

The president is the country's scapegoat more than the country's leader; the president has as much power as we think the president has. Whoever has the most money is the puppet master.

Wonder Showzen is one of my favorite shows of all time. When I first saw it, I thought it was so funny and new and original and edgy and insane and subversive. I didn't know comedy could do that.

I'm an Aries. I need everybody to like me.

I'm a lurker and a creep. Women don't like me because I sleep standing up, like a horse.

They [ The Simpsons] are just like the Bible to me as far as what the high-water mark of comedy.

If there's an intelligence behind the joke - - it's a good joke.