Writers tend to suffer from back problems because they spend their time bent over a desk.

I get to be the first doctor in the family [because of the honorary degree they're giving me].

I hate movies. They're so boring. So tedious.

People who are interested in money are really uninteresting people. They look like Donald Trump.

Life took over 4 billion years to evolve into you, and you've about 70 more years to enjoy it. Don't just pursue happiness, catch it.

You get interviewed when you're out promoting something.

I love being an older comic now. It's like being an old soccer or an old baseball player. You're in the Hall of Fame and it's nice, but you're no longer that person in the limelight on the spot doing that thing.