For one quarter, Black Tiger lets me escape from my rotten existence for three glorious hours. Pretty good deal.

Continue your quest by taking the test. Yes, but what test? What test was I supposed to take? The Kobayashi Maru? The Pepsi Challenge? Could the clue have been any more vague?

I've never really collected anything other than old Atari cartridges. I only had, like, 12 Atari games as a kid, so at some point in my 20s I decided I was going to own all of them.

My characters are all kind of geek archetypes of people I've encountered at gaming and comic book conventions.

Virtual sex, no matter how realistic, was really nothing but glorified, computer-assisted masturbation.

I was obsessed. I wouldn't quit. My grades suffered. I didn't care.

I never ran out of ammo, because each time I fired a round, a new round was teleported into the bottom of the clip. My bullet bill this month was going to be huge.